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When parents are divorced, both of which are still ruled responsible for children's happiness and fulfillment, anyone who got the rights to his care.

KOMPAS.com -Divorce, for most people, not an option to resolve the problem of the relationship. But not a few also couples who ultimately chose divorce. If you are experiencing a similar thing, do the following to make divorce way 10 is over the disaster. At the very least, you still can maintain good relations with the former spouse, let alone with the consideration of parenting that is still in need of affection and attention of her parents.

1. give time for yourself
However divorce affect Your Psychic. Your reaction to something will change, the need for and interest you too will experience the shift. For that, you need time for yourself to organize themselves. Wake up clear rules and boundaries to the former spouse, especially to create patterns of parenting on children. Let friendship walk through paskaperceraian.

2. Carefully select a mediator and Attorney
Divorce cost to pay for the services of a lawyer. However, you can save costs by only paying for the services of a mediator if communication with former pairs are going well. It means a divorce granted to a decision together received well by both. But on the condition of a bad relationship, even in case of conflicts, the lawyer to be the most appropriate mediator, even though you have to spend more money for this.

3. write down the planning of childcare and talking about directly
Fokuslah on what is best for the child when designing and writing patterns of parenting paskaperceraian. Imagine your child's feelings while reading the plan of care written clearly. If the child is already big enough, talk with them. Say that you and your former spouse will work as a team in their parenting. The interests of the child have to be the main focus above all the interests of you and your former spouse.

4. believe it is okay, but always verify
The deal already accepted both sides need to be written. Agreement on parenting, for example. Make sure all the approvals made written clearly. This is where the importance of why divorce need accompanied lawyer who acted as mediator. Issues such as money and parenting requires the written agreement.

5. prepare to face changes
Failure to undergo a deal paskaperceraian sometimes cannot be avoided. Friction still will remain between you and your ex-husband, especially related to parenting. Be prepared with the condition that will change later. At least make a plan to minimize failures, i.e. to write with details about the agreement you made with the former spouse. Make sure that all parties understand it clearly.

6. Be cooperative
When one party violates the deal, try to understand his condition. Find out and find solutions together why this agreement is violated. Especially with regard to childcare. Make sure the interests of the child above all else.

7. avoid patterns longtime relationships
Part of Your recovery paskaperceraian is no longer responsible for the ex-spouse, family, or any related to her personally. So any with him against You. You have to break away from it, including not using patterns longtime relationships, i.e. don't ask for support from the former spouse to your personal problems.

8. Let the relationship transform
You will feel lonely and lost, even derailed after divorce. However this is only temporary, and in time the relationship will be healthy again. At least you and your ex-partner could be a good friend, especially in terms of caring for the child. Let the relationship flows naturally and transform into healthier paskaperceraian.

9. take the time together as a family
When the relationship or the feeling you've been healthy paskaperceraian, take the time get together as a family. Go eat dinner together children and former spouses legitimate just done. The goal to show your child that her parents still matter. As a family, You can still be gathered together.

10. do not put a new person
Then gather together children and ex-partner, make sure no other person or figure in your relationship as well as the husband. Although children are adolescents, they will be confused by the presence of new people. Be sure to focus on the family unit without any foreigners on board.

WAF

Editor: Early

Source: psychologytoday

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When my wife back in touch with mantannya, it could be that he wanted to try to feel again the passion that makes it art when still young first.

KOMPAS.com- My husband is having an affair was quite a lot, but my wife is having an affair is also not a few. According to a study conducted by Coffee and Company, a marriage Bureau in the United Kingdom, from about 3 thousand female respondents, at least 20 percent of women admitted to having an affair. While the studies that established the site AskMen finds 5 percent women never or are an affair of his partner, while less than 3 percent of men admitted had or is having an affair. Why women having an affair? Here are his reasons:

Revenge
According to expert relationship, Seth Meyers, Psy D, psychologist from Los Angeles and author Dr. Seth's Love Prescription, men have devoted just as cognitive for women. However, this did not stop a woman for cheating. Instead, there are some women who feel like revenge if her partner is having an affair. The man is not emotional, so usually they can't feel pain the same except he felt his own pain, so said Bonnie Weil, Ph.d., author's Adultery: The Forgivable Sin. The woman was having an affair is a way to equalize.

Looking for increased adrenaline
An affair is an experience against routine, thrilling, and even some say, a release of stress. A woman having an affair is sometimes just want to get the pleasure to have more than 1 man who loved him. Generally, a wife will try to explain and tell her husband that there is a problem in the relationship they. If the husband could not successfully help address the problem of the relationship, or just respond to at a glance, the wife of then having an affair because felt he had no other choice.

Boost ego
Who is not worshipped and praised? Generally, men selingkuhan will try to make the woman feel so great with all the words and praise for making her feel sexy and stunning does not like what is done by her partner. An affair is often happens in relationships that make the wife doesn't feel connected emotionally with spouses who now.

If a wife feel neglected or feel squandered by her husband, he will become brittle and easily ran into infidelity, either emotionally or physically, a man who makes her feel special and desirable. When the relationship between the pair had already been tightened must each be trying to hurt the ego, and this will open the door to the problem.

To find a love affair
The relationship that has lasted a long time is very different from a new relationship begins. The chemical is full of love will flow increasingly lost the longer the relationship is created. Decreased sense of love that can not be denied, and it could happen, but it can be made to stay warm. It is important to keep and maintain the chemical remains lit despite loving relationship has long been intertwined. For example, by making the kiss 30 seconds and cuddle 20 seconds, which could increase the level of endorphin. The conflict created a passion, a marriage that is too "adem-ayem", a rare penalty opinion, rarely penalty arguments, rarely remove the contents of the heart, it can lead to the infidelity of one. It certainly does not mean conflict it must apply every day and every moment.

Want discovered
Most women see the affair as a hole on the flight, especially the wife who had no children. If he already has a child, it would be difficult for a woman leaving her husband without guilt. But the guilt it will diminish if not he who started the separation. Consequently, the wife will find ways to reduce stress and guilt by way of an affair, her husband would leave her anyway.

Bored with the sexual life
The couple have been together all this time often complained that the relationship of seksualnya not sehangat once again, the fact is no more sex. This could encourage women to seek other ways to satisfy his desire. Sometimes the woman having an affair because it felt there was no spontaneity in conjunction again. Sexual boredom could be one of the manifestations of it. Passion to make the relationship more often and different type could make the young woman is having an affair. The wife was still in his early twenties or younger can lead to infidelity as men, they also want sex more often, sex, or curious what it's like having sex with a man who isn't her husband.

Feel yourself
When a feeling that she and her husband no longer has an interest, he would find himself into an emotional affair with a man who has an interest. However, the emotional infidelity can be quickly rolled to a higher level and be a sexual indiscretion. Not a few women who cheated on her to fill the void. According to Weil, an affair raised a feeling of loneliness and emptiness. This is a form of hunger would have a relationship.

Want to repeat the past
Sometimes, the former girlfriend reminds a woman how it feels to be a beautiful and desirable. Because the future of dating the former that the women feel young, sexy, loose, interesting, and back to life, the women wish to return to feel all that again.

Attention and adventure
Women easily can feel wasted, after working 24 hours at home, take care of the children, clean the House, even some work in the Office as well. Women need to feel appreciated and hungry for validation. They want to find the fun once in a while. A woman who feels empty and hollow in her marriage was an easy prey for the type of "bad boy".

According to some psychologists argue, if you are looking for reasons mainly why women having an affair, most of the reasons it may actually be overcome with a husband who would take the time to be more loving, caring, loving, and cooperative. A woman who is happy in his marriage would not be having an affair.

NAD

Editor: Nadia Felicia

Source: associated press

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KOMPAS.com- When reaching the age of 30, most women already have a mature level of self-understanding. Generally, in this age of women already are in a stable relationship. Having a husband could be sort of an aphrodisiac for woman, due to its being in a safe and committed relationship can bring out the passion of women. But the stress of keeping the child and the problems of career could lose the passion.
In the 30s, women are increasingly recognizing its body, and it is getting more and more understand how to achieve orgasm, which could stimulate the passion, because that's how come the opinion that women reach the top of his sexuality in the 30s.
At the beginning of the wedding, before there was a child, in General, women had many complaints in his life, Louann Brizendine, M.D., one of the Director of the sexual health at the University of California, San Francisco, USA. The Level of testosterone in women will generally be reduced at the age of 35 years in fact does not mean much.
The age of reproduction
For most women, age 30s is the age of reproduction. In the mid trimester of pregnancy, when pregnant women no longer troubled with nausea-vomiting, and stomach not too big, most women feel sex like games, because of the high passions the felt. During pregnancy, the hormones progesterone and estrogen increased many times over, resulting in menebalnya the lips of the vagina and more often terlubrikasi. Plus the development of the fetus in the womb in the vagina can also increase the passion.
In the book For Women Only: A Revolutionary Guide to Overcoming Sexual Dysfunction and Reclaiming Your Sex Life, sex therapist Jennifer Berman, M.D., said during the mid trimester some women will feel in a State half aroused, especially when containing boys because boys pushing hormones testosterone the mother as well.
After the presence of such child
Many women after giving birth to feel that sex is more fun. Decrease in passion can happen because of fatigue, but the hormones also could be the cause. A decrease in testosterone decreases about half after child birth, though quickly also will be back to normal. Common for the pair after having children to only connect 1-2 times after more than 4 months of nifas. The problem is, women are still terngiang pain after childbirth and this anesthetic on about 70 percent of women until around 6 months after childbirth.
While for the nursing mother can also be so feel not interested in sex. Lactation hormone prolactin, which gave rise to resist the ovulation and the production of estrogen, as well as testosterone. A study of observing women breastfeeding and found about 60 percent of women have testosterone (key passion) is low after the birth of the second or third. Although the reason is unclear, Jennifer Berman believes, this may be due a decrease in testosterone production by the ovaries or lack the enzyme that inhibit the production of testosterone.

Maximum stress
Although the level of the hormone the woman is in normal conditions though, work as a parent can turn off the passion in a snap. Between the demands of the job, the child was a child, and take care of the House, women in their 30 's are in a high enough pressure. Often, they feel upset over her looks could share its case. According to Peter Kanaris, Ph.d., psychologist and sex therapist in New York revealed, the woman reached the peak of passion seksualnya at age 30, but the stress experienced by women in this age was quite high, be aware of the stress, because stress is one of the biggest passion killer. Need the cooperation of partner to help together achieve satisfaction.

NAD
Editor: Nadia Felicia
Source: health.discovery.com

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